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Questions Often Asked

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There are no wrong or dumb questions, and I'll gladly answer any question you have in the free consultation session. In the meantime, here are some questions about counselling that many people ask.

Does counselling actually help?

No therapist can guarantee success, just as no personal trainer can guarantee fitness, but many people say that counselling has proven to be a very significant part of their journey. By far the two most important factors in determining what you get out of counselling are how much you want your life to be different and the quality of the connection between you and the counsellor. If those two elements are sufficiently established, the outcomes can be quite remarkable.

Is there any real hope for bad or flat relationships?

Yes! I use approaches that have been scientifically proven through a substantial body of research to help up to 75% of couples move from distress to recovery and help approximately 90% enjoy significant improvements, even two years after therapy.

Isn't counselling just an admission that we can't handle our own problems?

Many people believe that getting help with a project, even a big project like changing the direction of your life, is a sign of weakness. Others realize that enlisting help simply shows that you know how to make effective use of whatever resources are available to you. It's up to you how you want to look at it, but the successful people I know never try to do everything on their own. Ultimately, yes, it is your responsibility to fix your own problems. And I encourage you to honestly ask yourself the question, "Could I/we use some support in doing that?" If the answer is yes, you're welcome to check out this counselling service and see if it feels like the support you want.

With counselling, aren't I/we just paying for friendship?

Friendship is certainly an important part of the counselling experience, but there are often limits to how much a friend will challenge you or ask you to take a deeper look at your stuff. Why? Because they don't want to jeopardize the relationship. A counsellor is not bound by those limitations, and even though we do so in a caring environment, part of our job is to create the conditions in which you learn essential aspects about yourself and how you show up in relationships - things that you typically wouldn't learn when you're just talking with a friend.

What happens at a first counselling session?

Your first counselling session is usually spent establishing rapport and making sure you feel comfortable with the counsellor. You'll want to feel a sense of trust and confidence that I am someone you would like to work with. If you don't feel that trust and confidence, that's perfectly OK, and you'll be invited to let me know your thoughts and feelings. We will also talk about what you've been experiencing and what it is you would like to experience instead, and agree on a course of therapy. Of course, you'll be able to ask any questions you have.

Is in-person counselling more effective than online counselling?

In my experience online counselling can be just as beneficial as in-person counselling. The quality of the Internet connection is a factor, however. The preferable system for online counselling is a tablet, laptop or desktop computer with an ethernet connection.

How much does counselling cost?

The cost of counselling varies. I invite you to review the Rates and Payment Methods page to learn more.

Does benefit insurance pay for sessions?

Sessions may be subsidized through benefit providers. Please see the Rates and Payment Methods page. Or contact me for more information.

What if my partner doesn't want to participate in counselling?

You might consider individual sessions and start by enriching the relationship you have with yourself. Even if your partner never participates, in my experience your relationship can benefit greatly just because of the work you do on your own.

What if I/we have limited time available for counselling?

You might consider online counselling sessions, which are often more convenient and less time-consuming for many people. You can do them in the comfort of your home without having to drive anywhere. In general, discussions about time are really discussions about priorities, right? And there's no rule that says your relationships or your personal wellness have to be priorities. Only you can determine what's important to you.

What if I/we tried counselling before and it didn't work?

Your counsellor might not have been the best fit. Often people attempt to search for the most qualified therapist, but unfortunately there's no empirical way to determine if a counsellor is right for you. It turns out that a number of criteria which you might assume matter a lot, don't really matter that much. These include the therapist's experience, gender, profession or graduate degree, and even the school of therapy practised. In fact, differences among therapists account for only five per cent of the variability in treatment outcomes.

Studies show that the two most important elements of counselling success are the rapport you have with your counsellor and your willingness to act on the discoveries you make in counselling.

When you're choosing a therapist, go with your gut, not your head.

Before you consider booking a free 20-minute consultation with me, I invite you to learn more about couples counselling or individual counselling services.